Kids

As the last day of school and summer vacation draws near, working parents are faced with making tough decisions about what to do with their kids while they are at work. For many American families full-time childcare program is simply financially infeasible.  Hardly a rare phenomenon, more than 3 million children under the age of 12 stay home alone at least some of each week in the US, with an even greater number of teens also staying home alone. A study by the American Psychological Association suggests that staying home alone is not necessarily bad for children, concluding that the success of kids staying home alone depends more on what they do while home alone than the fact that their parent isn’t there with them. Leaving your kids home alone can be nerve wracking but, with the proper preparation and structure in place, it can be a good experience for both your children and you.  
 

• Is your child ready to be home alone? Before you prepare your children to stay home alone on occasion this summer you should ask yourself a few questions: Are your children able to keep themselves entertained or do they need constant supervision? Do they get along with each other or do they fight a lot? Do they understand and follow instructions? How do they make decisions under pressure? Once you’ve asked yourself these questions you should ask your children if they want to stay home alone. Many children will answer this question honestly – especially when they are younger. If your children (or eldest child) are comfortable assuming the responsibility of being home alone, proceed to the next step.  

• Do a safety check of your home. Before you leave your children at home make sure that there are no obvious safety risks in your house. For instance, make sure any and all firearms are locked in a safe to which your children do not have access. Lock away any alcohol, cigarettes, medicines, and potentially poisonous chemicals to ensure that your children will not have access to them while home alone. Also, remove any spare keys that you keep either under the doormat or near the door area. Thieves know people keep keys in these places. Move your key to somewhere less common and perhaps unique to your house and let your children know where it is, or better yet, leave the spare key with a trusted neighbor.  

• Establish “House Rules”. Come up with a list of behaviors you expect from your children while at home. Go over each item on the list with them and then post the list in a visible place in your house so that it can easily be referred back to. Include on the list things that they will both be expected to do and things that are off limits.

• Prepare. If one of your rules is “No cooking” make sure you have food prepared for your children that doesn’t require cooking. If you require that they spend at least one hour a day reading make sure that appropriate books are available and that there is a system in place to check that they read when you got home. If you require that your children do a daily chore, make sure that any supplies needed to accomplish that chore are available for it and that your child knows how to perform that chore. Setting up rules that your children can’t reasonably follow sets you both up for failure so, make sure you help them succeed in every way possible.

• Teach your kids how to answer the phone. One of your house rules should be that your children should always check Caller ID when the phone rings and should only answer calls from family and friends. Regardless of whether they know the person or not your children, when home alone, should always respond to a caller asking for their parents with the following phrase: “My mom/dad is not available right now, can I take a message?” Instruct them to NEVER tell a stranger that they are home alone.  

• Have an “Emergency Plan.” Talk to your kids about the potential situations they could get into at home and how they should respond to them. They need to know that serious injuries, fires, and criminal or suspicious activity are all are emergency situations and warrant calling 9-1-1. Prepare a first aid kit (Band-Aids, flash-light, etc) for your children and teach them how to properly use each item. Leave a how-to list inside the kit just in case they forget how to use something when the time comes. They also need to know what situations are not emergencies, so go over as many situations with them as you can. It can also help to teach your kids how to avoid emergencies. Come up with practice situations for your children: an in-home fire, a break-in, or a serious injury while playing outside. Make your children practice, step-by-step how they would respond in these situations. Obviously, you can’t prepare your children for every situation but if you role-play different circumstances it can help increase their confidence that they will be able to handle such situations should one arise.
  

• Develop a phone check routine. Have a routine where either you (or your spouse) call the house (not your children’s cell phones, unless you have agreed that they will be at a friend’s house) to check in with your children at regular intervals. Make sure it is clear what times you expect them to be home to receive your calls. When you call ask questions that will help you find out how things are going: What are they doing right now? What else have they done today? Do they need help with anything? Has anything different or suspicious happened today? Also, make sure that your children know that they can call you whenever they need you during the day. Post your work and cell phone numbers as well as the numbers of nearby relatives or a trusted neighbor just in case they forget.

• Know Your Neighborhood.  Identify the hazards in your neighborhood and if you haven’t already, go out of your way to get to know the people that live nearby.  In case of an emergency your kids may need to go to one of your neighbors for help. Pick at least one trusted neighbor nearby that will be home during the day and that your kids can go to for help if something happens.  Also, run a Property & Neighborhood Report to locate and identify sex offenders in the area then, using the photos and addresses in the report, make sure your kids know where potential predators live and what they look like.  

• Listen and let your children know that you appreciate them. After they have had a few days alone sit down and invite them to share how they feel about being home alone and any questions or concerns. Be willing to listen to everything they have to say and try and make any adjustments necessary. When things go right, let them know that they’ve done a good job and that you are proud of them. 

Although the task ahead may seem daunting, taking these steps will help your family stay safe and happy when you can’t be there.